


Cadet

by TheShadow1515



Series: Adventures with a Chiss [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels, Star Wars: Thrawn Series - Timothy Zahn (2017)
Genre: Angst, Animalistic Thrawn, Biting, Blood, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Mind Manipulation, Rape Aftermath, Rape/Non-con Elements, am sorry, and obsessive, don't mind me, first smut, sabine is your gf, she's very protective, thrawn is a dick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:07:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24039364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheShadow1515/pseuds/TheShadow1515
Summary: You were a cadet at the Royal Imperial Academy, one of the best if you were being completely honest. But something had to give. And that was your loyalty to the Empire; you just didn't have it. You questioned their morals and you just wanted to become an Admiral so you could do some good in the galaxy. Unfortunately, a certain Grand Admiral Thrawn took interest in you and turned your entire life into a mess. He violated you, abused you, and just when you thought you could not go on, a beautiful, confident mandalorian stepped into your life. Perhaps the Chiss was a good thing. After all, you wouldn't have been able to meet Sabine Wren without him.
Relationships: Kanan Jarrus/Hera Syndulla, Sabine Wren/Original Female Character(s), Sabine Wren/Reader, Thrawn | Mitth'raw'nuruodo/Original Female Character(s), Thrawn | Mitth'raw'nuruodo/Reader
Series: Adventures with a Chiss [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1734136
Comments: 2
Kudos: 38





	1. Wilted

"Cadets, report to the training arena for an immediate debriefing." The intercom buzzed throughout the block. 

Becoming an Imperial cadet turned out to be nothing like you imagined. You joined because you wanted to be a part of something. You thought that perhaps, you could make friends, have a unit, a family to replace the one you lost. And yet, the Empire frowned upon attachments to your comrades. They said it would distract you from your duties. You disagreed. You believed it would add to your unity. 

Your superiors made sure that train of thought never left the station. 

“In the Empire,” they would say. “We don't ask questions. We follow orders.” What they don't say is that most of those orders are immoral, unjust, and cause more violence than peace. But you had to follow orders, no matter your opinion. You thought that soldiers were supposed to keep the interests of the people they protected first, then their commanders. The governing power wasn't more important than the people. They were supposed to protect and represent the people. And yet, day after day, that idealism you grew up with, was washed away with yet another training mission. 

You sighed. You were a good cadet. One of the best in your class. Though, something had to give. And your one flaw... Was your curiosity. Your continuous questioning of authority. You knew it would get you into trouble one day, but you couldn't help it. Good soldiers thought before they acted. At least, that's what you believed. And you believed it with your entire being. 

Too bad no one else did.

Well, there was one group who agreed with you: the rebellion. A group you knew you could never be a part of. You were too far gone in the Empire, and anyway, since you were one of the best cadets, you were under supervision most of the day. Even if the rebellion did want you, there was no way you could leave without getting them hurt or caught.

And so you stayed. Not only did you think the rebellion could never get to you, you were still loyal to the Empire. As much as you questioned it's tactics, you grew up on Coruscant. The Empire was your home. Though, you weren’t certain if you would still be thinking that if you were given the chance to leave. But even if you did get the option to join the rebellion you would not have someone else, someone much braver than you, risk their life to save you merely because you wanted out. No. You would stay. You would become a soldier. And who knows? Perhaps you would be an inside source. The Fulcrum.

You laughed silently to yourself as you marched down the hallway with the other cadets. Not noticing the fact that they all seemed extremely nervous, while you were oblivious to the impending doom that shadowed before you. Oblivious to the glowing red eyes, sweeping your form as you entered the training room. The red eyes that fixated on you the moment they saw the first strand of hair atop your head. 

Your unit stopped abruptly, and years of training allowed you to stop with them without even thinking about it. You were in the front, as you were the too cadet and your Captain wanted to show you off. You didn't mind, but sometimes you wished he didn't. 

The Captain sauntered in front of your group, his eyes glancing over all the cadets. Though, you could tell from the way he stood with his back as straight as could be and his hands clasped tightly behind him, that something was wrong -- or right, and he did not want to mess it up, especially with a unit like yours.

Your unit was the top group in the Royal Academy, reserved only for the best. It seemed elitist, and, honestly, it definitely was, but you never complained. At least, other than your questions about the morality of the Empire. Being in the elite group meant you had many responsibilities, but in the end, it would be worth it. The students that graduated from this unit were assigned to star destroyers and we're immediately set on track to become Captains or Admirals. Truthfully, you wanted to be an Admiral, but you wanted to be a kind and just one. And in order to do that, you had to listen to your superiors for the time being until you were at the top, until you didn't have superiors to give you orders. Though you still had a couple years to go.

And your Captain was proud to teach you all. He was even more elitist than the families your mates were from. Which was saying something. And your Captain was usually so sure of himself, except for right then.

Seeing your Captain like that caused you to snap out of your revelry and actually take a look at your surroundings. You were in the training arena, but there were a few unfamiliar faces. The one that caught your attention right off the bat -- and probably everyone else's attention -- was the one staring directly at you.

You flinched under his gaze. His red, hot gaze that seemed to penetrate your entire being. The first thing you noticed about him was not the blue skin, it was the white uniform with the many pins decorating his breast. He was a grand admiral. And a good one at that. Then you noticed that he wasn't human. His facial structure was extremely similar, but other than that, one would have to be blind to not notice the blue skin and blood red eyes. 

You hardly noticed the other woman next to him even as she started addressing your unit. Your eyes stayed locked with his and a cold, uncomfortable feeling washed over you as his eyes meandered down your body, stopping a few times before ultimately turning away. A shiver ran through your spine. He may have been Grand Admiral, but that made him even more terrifying. The only person above him was the Emperor himself, if his appearance didn't scare a person into place, that thought alone would. 

Once his eyes turned away from you, yours faced the woman speaking, a faint blush rushing to your cheeks as you barely heard a word she said. Though you could infer that she was merely stating her name and rank and soon introduced the alien beside her; Grand Admiral Thrawn.

Of course. You had heard his name whispered among the students, and even the instructors. He was cold, meticulous, and highly intelligent. When he first came to the Core Worlds, he was criticized -- he would have been cast out if the Emperor hadn't taken a liking to him -- merely because he was an alien. You did not hold those ideals, you believed if someone was smart enough, dedicated enough, then they would be able to succeed. And succeed he did. He oversaw the entire Seventh Fleet, a feat no mere backwater alien could ever have completed. And Thrawn was not a backwater alien. No, he was much more. That you could tell easily. Not just from the stories or his species, but by the way he cooly, calmly surveyed everyone who stepped into his field of vision. He noted every minute detail that anyone made. And that made him dangerous. Yet also extremely interesting.

You respected people who could take the time to carefully size up their opponent before making a strike. Though you believed you had that mastered, you were not prepared for the storm of firey arrows ready to fall down upon you. You were not prepared for the monster that lurked beneath the polite exterior that was Thrawn.

Thrawn stepped forward after the woman introduced him. He didn’t smile, didn’t change his expression in the slightest. He only stared. Stared at your comrades, your Captain, you. You flinched again as his eyes were drawn to you, only this time you could see them more clearly as he was much closer than before, Actually, he was closer than you originally thought, his seemingly glowing eyes a mere meter in front of you. The closer you looked at them, the more you saw as his pupils that almost disappeared in the red of his sclera, moved ever so slightly, taking in everything he could from the movement of your musculature to the change in your breathing pattern. This man was much more dangerous than you first imagined. He was beyond smart, beyond cunning. And he already had you right where he wanted you.

His eyes moved away from you yet again as he began to address the entire unit, “Thank you for the kind introduction, Governor Pryce” His voice was soft yet confident, a slight, strange accent filling his words as he spoke. It was hardly noticeable but anyone who was familiar with Imperial speak would be able to tell. “As the Governor stated, I am Grand Admiral Thrawn of the Seventh Fleet, though I’m sure many of you know that already. I am here to survey your progress for the next week, I will be an instructor and an interrogator. You will be scrutinized and supervised by me at all times,” He paced a bit, not too far, but enough for you to take notice. Thrawn’s eyes then zeroed in on you once again, this time you attempted to stand your ground and you could have sworn you saw his lips twitch into a curve before falling back to the straight, thin line. “I am sure you will be prepared for my tests, if you are not, well, only the strong survive.” 

Your own eyes widened slightly and you cursed yourself for giving yourself away so easily, there was no way Thrawn didn’t catch that and he would be sure to use it later on. You were strong, you knew that, he knew that, yet that last comment seemed to be solely directed at you, and with no indication as to why, you were left only to assume.

With a final look thrown at you, the Grand Admiral dismissed your unit and you all left the way you came. Until you left the arena, you were all stone faced and stiffed back, though once you were in the safety of the mess hall, you all relaxed, well, the others did, you did not. The way Thrawn stared at you, the way he spoke almost directly at you even though he was addressing everyone, it freaked you out, and you doubted you would relax at all until he left the Academy. 

A whole week. You had to survive Thrawn for an entire week.

The first day passed without a hitch. You did your duties, albeit with sweat dripping down your back as you could feel the insistent gaze from your guest instructor on you at all times. Even when he went over to talk to other cadets, you could still sense his eyes slowly drift back to you. You hated it. Hated him for doing this to you. He wasn’t doing it to any of the other students, so why just you? 

For the next two days, Thrawn seemed to loom over you constantly. His eyes followed your every movement and you could have sworn he purposefully criticized you more. To be frank, it probably was purposeful, everything Thrawn did was for a reason, figuring out that reason was the difficult part. 

It didn’t make any sense. He said that you were a great cadet and would make an even greater officer, so why did he act so strangely around you? Was it a test? If it was, you were sure to fail. Or perhaps your reactions were what he expected. You did not know. Thrawn was filled to the brim with manipulations and devious plans, you had no chance against him.

The main thing he did during those first three days was when he would stand behind your chair, his hand on the back of it, his body heat radiating through the metal and into your clothes. He would sometimes lean down, his hot breath brushing against your cool skin, making you shiver, if he noticed this, you couldn’t tell, but he would merely comment on your work then walk away as if nothing happened. Though your face said otherwise. 

If only that was the worst that would happen.

The fourth day was terrible. All the other tests were of your intellect or your strategic knowledge, on day four, however, you were tested on your physical strength rather than your mental. This meant you had to wear the tight fitting, and frankly revealing training clothes the Academy provided. You felt Thrawn's stares intensify tenfold. It was maddening that you could do nothing about it. He was a Grand Admiral, and you were a mere cadet. Like Thrawn said "only the strong survived" and the strong did not testify against their superiors, no matter what they did, what he did to you, you could do nothing.

You felt like crying. You truly did, but you would not. You would stay strong, even if that was what Thrawn wanted, you didn’t care, you would not show weakness, you would become an Admiral, no matter what, no matter what he did to you, you would survive.

Thrawn walked into the fighting arena, his pristine white uniform discarded and instead he wore a tight muscle shirt with even tighter training pants. You saw yet again that there was no possible way you could overpower him, not mentally and definitely not physically. His arms were rippling with hard muscles and you could see the slim yet fit torso under his shirt. You knew you shouldn’t be having these thoughts about other officers, especially one as high up as a Grand Admiral, and especially not one who held your career in his hands, but by the Maker, Thrawn was extremely attractive. You kept your countenance as stoic as possible as the Chiss strutted into the arena, once again right in front of you. This time, though, his eyes did not find you immediately, he actually started to address everyone first, which was even more odd than if he stared at you.

A cold feeling of dread washed over you as Thrawn began to explain the day's test; he would be having a one on one with each of you to see what you could do and possibly give you a few pointers. A one on one with Thrawn. Fighting. With the clothes both of you were wearing. If you weren’t taught self control at the Academy, you doubted you would be able to hide your utter terror of what was to come. 

Thrawn first asked one of your comrades, Jace, to train with him. He dismissed the rest of you, and you all waited in a room not too far away, but enough so you couldn’t eavesdrop. Your unit was comprised of only the best which meant there weren’t that many of you. In total, there were seven, you, Jace Fernsby, Aric Carson, Grayson Dune, Dyn Shan, Camaya Illa, and Zodeta Villin. You were a tight knit squad, and even though the Academy frowned upon friendships, you all were extremely close. After all, they were the only ones you saw, your unit having its own block, separate from the rest of the Academy. So when you were all sitting in that room, you began to talk. 

You mainly talked about the tests from the first few days, asking how you thought you did, were they any different, normal questions like that. You laughed and chatted along with them, and none of them said anything about the way Thrawn was acting around you, and truthfully, you were glad, you didn’t want it to become a huge mess. Though, them not saying anything made you think; did they even notice? Were you just being paranoid? You still didn’t know any of the answers to any of the questions you kept on asking yourself. Once again going back to your constant curiosity that you knew would get you into something you couldn’t get out of. 

Jace came back, sweaty, but intact. Your Captain then called for the next student, Camaya, to go to the arena. You all wished her luck, but as soon as she left, you bombarded Jace with questions. He could only answer a few, and from what you all could tell, the test was more than physical poweress, it was also about your strategy and how you were able to anticipate your opponent, or Thrawn, which was much easier said than done.

Camaya said the same thing when she came back, Aric following her. Every cadet lost to Thrawn, not only because of his physicality, but also his alien ability to just know what you were going to do next. Perhaps that was just an advantage of the Chiss, or he was just that incredibly smart, which wasn’t too hard to believe. 

After Aric was Grayson, then Dyn, and Zodeta. You knew once Aric went that you would be last. You originally thought he would pick you first, but of course, he saved the best for last. He didn’t want you to get it over with quickly, he would take his time with you. For what reason, you could only guess, but that same horrible feeling came over you as the Captain dismissed the other cadets saying that since you were the last, there was no reason to keep the others. You understood his logic -- or rather Thrawn’s logic -- but that didn’t mean you liked it. If the others were dismissed, that meant Thrawn could keep you in the arena for as long as he wanted, with no distractions. 

You knew you were being irrational about this, but that didn’t make you any less terrified as you walked down the hallway, goosebumps covering your bare skin as every room in Academy had to be freezing cold all the time. You wondered if Thrawn felt the cold. He seemed to be a walking heater so you doubted he did. What would it be like to feel those strong, warm arms wrap around you, their heat pressing against your cold skin…

You shook your head. You needed to have a clear mind once you were alone with Thrawn else he take advantage of you, though you knew that even with a clear head, he would be able to do anything he wanted to you.

The door loomed above you, a shiver ran through you, whether it be from the cold or the dread that hung over you like a dark storm cloud, in the end it didn’t matter. This would be a test not only of your physical and mental strength, but also your will. Whether or not you would be able to pass it was another question entirely. You took in a hefty breath of air and let it all out slowly as you pressed the button next to the door, opening it with little difficulty.

Before you was the man of the hour, or rather of the week. It didn’t even look like the Grand Admiral broke a single sweat when fighting with the other cadets, he seemed perfectly calm, and that’s what scared you the most, you were anything but calm. Another deep breath escaped you as you stepped closer, the coldness of the Academy still present in the arena. You kept your arms to your side, your head held high, your back straight as you addressed the Chiss, “Reporting in, sir.” You knew straight away that the intonation of your voice gave away any semblance of calmness you attempted to show. There was no possible way for you to even come close to beating him at his own game.

Thrawn stood up from his position in the middle of the training mat, his muscles flexing as he raised each leg into a standing position. You tried not to show your discomfort as he walked closer to you, each step causing your heart to skip a beat. His form finally reached your own, standing a mere foot in front of you. You trembled as he placed a hand on your shoulder, he hadn’t physically touched you yet, but you supposed you were about to a lot since, well, hand to hand combat involved physical contact. However, you were still surprised to feel his warm hand rest on your frigid shoulder.

“At ease, cadet, it’s not as if you are going to be court martialed, are you?”

His voice held no indication of whether it was a rhetorical question or not which left you with nothing. So you first attempted to relax like he said, though that was even more difficult than figuring out his question. Once your shoulders loosened and your breathing evened as good as it could, Thrawn moved his hand away, his red eyes boring into your own, seemingly viewing your entire soul.

“You know, people say the eyes are the gateway to the soul,” The Chiss thankfully broke the silence, but his comment made you shudder, it was like he read your mind, though you were certain the Chiss didn’t have secret mind powers. Thrawn stood directly in front of you now, his hands behind his back, his spine perfectly straight with his head tilted down to view your smaller form. “And I would have to agree with that statement. Perhaps not the “soul” part, but from my experience looking into someone’s eyes can reveal a great deal about them, wouldn’t you agree, cadet?”

This time you were sure that he expected you to answer that inquiry, “I suppose so, sir.”

His eyes narrowed a bit but he still continued to stare, “‘You suppose’?” Thrawn seemed to say that to himself so you stayed silent, hoping that this training exercise would be over soon. “Cadet.” You started at his loud voice. “As I have said, I believe you will become a great officer, and more than likely you will become an Admiral. You have the potential, the ability, to become something great. And with my help, you will get there sooner than you realize.” You opened your mouth to speak, you wanted to say something about what the Grand Admiral just told you, but before you could do anything, Thrawn got into a fighting position, prompting you to do the same.

Your hands were raised in front of you, your feet spread to give you a strong center of balance. Hand to hand combat was one of main lessons taught at the Academy. Even though you had blasters and you would probably be on a ship most of the time, the instructors believed that knowing how to fight even when all odds are against you, is necessary for your education, and you had to agree. You’d seen time and time again as officers were attacked by pirates or rebels and even though they had nothing with them, they still fought because that was what they were taught to do, fight to your last breath. And you knew deep down that this was going to be like one of those times.

Your breath was steady even as your heart raced, you cleared your mind, this was a fight, nothing more, nothing less, and you will probably lose, but you suspected that didn’t matter, what mattered was how you were going to handle yourself. You clenched and released your fists, your eyes locked with Thrawn’s blood red ones. You could see clearly how experienced he was, while you had only fought in simulations, he had fought in life or death situations, this was not a fair fight, but once again, that wasn’t the point.

What felt like hours was really just a few seconds until you made the first move. Your arm swung to the side, but you stopped it a few inches from his face as you swung your other hand in an attempt to catch him off guard and hit his stomach. He, obviously, saw your attack coming and launched one of his own; he grabbed the hand that first swung and seamlessly dodged the other. The hand that grabbed yours was strong and warm, it was large enough to envelop your entire hand. Thrawn twisted your wrist causing you to howl in pain. He threw your back onto the mat and with his other hand he pinned both your wrists above your head, his legs on either side of your hips, straddling you. 

And just like that, the fight was over. All your training, all your education was nothing compared to the experience and straight-up strength Thrawn possessed. You fought against his restraints but to no avail, you were nowhere near as strong as the Chiss above you. And he knew that just as well as you did. 

Thrawn leaned down, his face a mere couple of centimeters away from your own, his breath smelled of mint and coffee, and his eyes were even more brilliant that close up. To your utter shock, Thrawn was smiling. It was a sinister, cruel smile, but a smile nonetheless. It showed his pristinely white teeth, the abnormal sharpness to them making the smile look more predatory than genuine. 

Your face immediately heated up as you finally noticed the compromising position you were in. If the Grand Admiral noticed, he did nothing about it, in fact he moved even closer to you, his grip on your wrists tightening as you turned your face to the side.

“You actually managed longer than the others, my dear,” You internally cringed at the nickname. “And that alone deserves a reward.”

As his face moved closer, you closed your eyes as tightly as possible. This was not happening, this was not happening!

You kicked your leg up, successfully stunning Thrawn long enough for you to wiggle out of his grasp and as far away from him as you could get. You crawled on your hands and knees until you reached the wall, your breathing heavy and your eyes wide. You stared at the Chiss, an overwhelming sense of fear cascading down upon you as he stood up, an evil glint in his eyes, the smile still there. 

“Oh, you still want a fight, don’t you, cadet?”

You shook your head wildly. This was not what you wanted. You just wanted to graduate from the Academy, become an Admiral and never have to see this man, this monster, ever again. “No, sir, I really don’t…” You thought about what to say next, not entirely sure how you were supposed to get him to back off. “I… I apologise for my behavior sir, I wasn’t thinking and… and…” Your voice trailed off as Thrawn stepped in front of you, his shadow putting a shroud of darkness over your terrified form. Your entire body shook with fear, with the unknown. You were scared, and that was obvious to the both of you.

You bowed your head, not wanting to look him in the eyes. You felt his glowing red eyes still staring at you. “Stand up, cadet.” You didn’t move and you heard a low growl emanate from the Chiss above you as he reached down and grabbed you by the hair, slamming your back into the wall. “I said stand up.” He moved his hands to grab your wrists yet again and put them above your head, you whimpered as his fingers dug into your flesh, the pain startling you. “The Academy still hasn’t taught you to listen to your superiors, have they?” He shook his head. “I suppose I will just have to teach in their place.”

With one hand, he kept your wrists from moving above your head while the other moved down your body, gripping your sides making you squirm in his grasp. This was not what you had planned, not at all. Thrawn snarled at you, his sharp teeth glinting in the lights, and you stopped moving, tears beginning to form in your eyes. His deft hand continued to travel down your body, stopping at the hem of your shorts before ripping them uncaringly off your body, the sudden force causing you to flinch and tears to fully begin to stream down your face. You scrunched your eyes closed as an uncomfortable feeling came over you, the Chiss running his hand over your thin panties. Any sort of sexual contact, whether it be from yourself or others, was punishable by expulsion in the Academy, so you never even attempted at what the Grand Admiral was about to do to you. 

Thrawn grabbed a stretching rope from the bench beside you and tied your wrists together so he could use both hands on your body. Your face was wet from tears that continued to pour from your puffy eyes, but seeing you like that only seemed to edge him on. The Chiss grabbed your face in one hand, his strong grip sure to cause bruises that wouldn’t go away for weeks. A small smirk grew upon his blue lips, those thin lips that soon found your own, albeit harshly. He squeezed your jaw just a little harder, opening your mouth and allowing his thick tongue to enter, your saliva mixing with his. He bit your lip as he pulled away, drawing some blood that he gladly lapped up, almost animalistically.

He kissed all over your face, drinking your tears, and travelled down your neck, leaving sores and bruises in his path. Once he made it to your shoulder, you felt his knife-like teeth brush against your skin before biting down and sucking, a scream leaving your bruised and bloodied lips. As he left his mark on you, his other hand tore your panties away, leaving you completely vulnerable as his long fingers slowly penetrated your virgin hole. You howled yet again as he added two more fingers and set a rough pace, his thumb working dexterously on your clit. The faintest bit of pleasure sparked in your core, but just as soon as it came, he left. 

Your vision was blurry, you heard white noise and the faintest sound of fabric dropping to the ground. Thrawn’s strong arms grabbed your waist and set you down on your back on the mat. They then moved to your thighs, pulling them apart so he could settle down between them. You felt something hard and long poke your inner leg, but your mind was so clouded you couldn’t process what it was.

Until you felt it. You felt as it slowly but surely made its way in your tight opening, stretching you until you felt as if your bottom half was being split apart. The pain was unbearable, but he kept on pushing through until he hit your cervix and bottomed out. You heard a deep moan above you and his hips began moving. They started slow but soon picked up pace as he gripped your thighs in his hands and wrapped them around his torso, the new position allowing him to hit even deeper inside you as he rammed into you.

You felt nothing but pain, black spots filling your vision but never fully taking over as his hips met yours again and startled you awake. It lasted what felt like an eternity, not even a drop of pleasure hitting your core the entire time. His thrusts became faster, harder, more frantic, and if your mind could actually make sense of what was happening, you would have thrashed and screamed. But you didn’t, and his final ruts were the most painful, before he filled you to the brim with something warm and sticky.

He stayed there for a while, his arms on either side of your head, his breathing heavy and sweat dripping from his body onto yours. Slowly he pulled out, the substance inside you spilling out a bit. You still didn’t move even as he put your panties and shorts back on. Even as he picked you up bridal style and carried you out the back door to the block where all the important guests stayed. Even as he set you upon his bed, so soft and fluffy and a stark contrast to the man who slept in it. Though, you didn’t complain, you were too tired and you soon fell into a deep sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi... so this happened. This was my very first smut so I know it kinda sucks, but that isn't the main point of this story. It was in the beginning, but I thought, why not add Sabine with some hurt/comfort? I dunno, I tried... Anywho, I have fallen in love with Thrawn and even though I enjoy some fluff with him (am working on some rn), I gotta admit that animalistic and obsessive Thrawn is also good. My inspiration for this loosely comes from another Thrawn fic called "Still Staring", unfortunately, the author orphaned the account so I cannot let them know. I am kinda proud of this work, and it turned out to be longer than expected, so it's two parts, but I felt like finishing it before posting it. I hope you enjoy some lesbian Sabine (i sure do lol), cuz she comes in next part. Have a wonderful day and thank you for reading, lovelies!


	2. Bloomed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part two of two. Some hurt/comfort with Sabine.

You woke to a sharp pain all throughout your body though mostly in your bottom half. You groggily opened your eyes, your hands attempting to move up and rub the remaining sleep out of them, but you couldn’t, you couldn’t move your arms. You looked down and the sight you saw was more than enough to wake you up. Two muscular and very blue arms were wrapped around you. Your eyes slowly turned to the side so you could see the owner of the arms and lo and behold, it was Grand Admiral Thrawn.

Memories flowed into you. Extremely unpleasant memories that brought a fresh set of tears to your eyes. This wasn’t possible. That didn’t happen to you. And yet, the body pressed against you and the pain in your lower half said otherwise. Your chest heaved with the sobs that wracked through your body, the movement apparently waking the Chiss, though, for reasons unknown, he did not make his presence known and instead moved his arms away giving you enough room to escape. 

You hissed in pain every time you moved, you looked around the room and spotted a door on the side that must have been the bathroom. You limped over to it and pressed the button on the side, the door sliding over to reveal a large and fully stocked bathroom. You frantically closed the door behind you and rushed over to the toilet where you immediately kneeled over and emptied what was left in your stomach. The smell was nothing compared to the feeling of utter disgust that seeped out of every pore on your body. This was not what you had expected when you got called down to meet the “special guest” on that fateful day… 

Day… 

It was the next day! But no sun filtered in through the windows, actually, there were no lights at all which was extremely strange since Coruscant was never completely dark, even during the night cycle. Your eyes widened. No. No way.

You stood up, albeit painfully, and walked over to the high window. You gripped the sill and hoisted yourself onto your toes and if the sight in the bedroom wasn’t shocking enough, this sure was.

You were in space.

The stars flew by at a lazy yet steady pace as you dropped to the ground, your limbs all about you, confusion being the only emotion you wore. You still had two more years to go at the Academy, it didn’t make any sense as to why you would have been transferred then, that just didn’t happen. Unless a certain Grand Admiral had his say. 

You glanced over to the counter and saw a fresh pair of clothes folded there. You put your hands behind you and pushed yourself off the ground. The clothes were in actuality, a uniform, a uniform for an ensign. You sighed, this was his doing, wasn’t it? There was no other person nor reason for it to happen, and the simplest answer was usually the right one. 

You took a deep breath and washed your face with some cold water before looking at yourself in the mirror. There were faint bruises that outlined fingers on your jaw, and even more littering your neck. The thing that stood out the most, however, was the bandage covering your shoulder, you peeled it back only to reveal a bright red, scabbed over bite mark. You gingerly touched it and winced slightly as it was still sore. You put the bandage back and checked other parts of your body, only finding some more faint marks on your wrists, also from fingers. 

Grabbing the uniform, you peeled off the clothes you were already in -- clothes that you noted were most definitely not yours -- and put on the uniform. It rested snugly in some areas, but overall was fine. There was a pin that stated your rank and name, though it didn’t say ensign, it said cadet. Strange, cadets rarely were assigned to star ships for their away training, but cadets also rarely caught the attention of Grand Admirals.

Your thoughts were interrupted as the door slid open and a shirtless Thrawn stepped into the room. Your breath hitched as he stood in the doorway, clearly blocking your escape. You closed our eyes, expecting the worst as he stepped closer to you, but, much to your surprise, he merely walked past you to the shower. You slowly opened your eyes again and hesitated a moment as the Chiss stared at you with his emotionless gaze. Getting the picture, you rushed out of the room and closed the door behind you. You sat down on the bed, catching your breath as it felt as if your heart was in your throat during those few seconds. He acted as if nothing happened, as if he didn’t just violate you and completely change your entire life. 

Looking around the room, you realized there was really no reason to stay there, other than the fact that Thrawn was in the shower and you should probably talk to him. Instead, you opted for the easier route, leave before he finishes. You stood up, gave one last glance around the room and headed out the door. The hallways were cold, like the ones at the Academy, but these were filled with more people and doors than what you were used to. You took a deep breath and just as you took a step… an alarm sounded off throughout the ship.

You jumped, startled by the loud noise and flashing red lights, sure, you had been in simulations like this, but those never seemed to be the same as the real thing. Storm troopers and officers raced frantically down the halls towards their post. You listened to the alarm and the passing conversations and deduced that you were under a rebel attack. Great. Just another mess to add on top of the ones you already had. You heard the shower turn off in the room behind you and you sprinted away from the door before Thrawn could catch you. This could be your chance. Your chance to escape. You did say that you would never join the rebellion, but that was before Thrawn and the mass destruction he brought with him. Perhaps this was supposed to happen. Perhaps you were supposed to join the rebellion. You did have a good amount of tricks up your sleeve. And, to be frank, you didn’t think you would be able to handle having to deal with the Grand Admiral for who knows how long. And besides, the rebels could use your expertise, it wasn’t like you were the best Imperial citizen, you always doubted the Empire, and that would come back to bite you, it might have already, if you were being truthful.

You kept on running as you thought, not certain as to where you were going, you were just going away from the Chiss. And if that meant walking straight into the arms of rebels, so be it, Thrawn was the tipping point for you, your faith in the Empire was lost the day he set foot in the Royal Academy. 

Since you were running and thinking at the same time, you weren’t exactly paying attention to your surroundings, that is until you stumbled upon a shoot out. On your side of the hallway was a woman dressed in colorful mandalorian armor, two blasters firing rapidly at the squadron of troopers in front of her. Your eyes flitted towards her, then to the troopers, your mind trying to make up what to do. Neither side noticed you yet, so you had the element of surprise, but how would you use it? Help the rebel, or the Empire? 

You glanced behind you, towards the room with the man who ruined your life. You glanced back at the painted armor, a sharp contrast to the simple white of the troopers, or even a Grand Admiral. You shook your head. You were going to regret this.

You rushed to the panel next to the hallway and the fight, your fingers danced across the buttons until the door between the rebel and the troopers was slammed shut, the one behind you shut as well. The mandalorian, shocked, put her guns down, turned her head to the side and raised them again, this time pointed at you. You shot your arms up in surrender, not wanting to die nor fight her yourself. She took note of your raised arms, then of the doors that blocked the troopers from blasting her to pieces.

“Who are you?”

Her voice is muffled by the helmet, but you can still tell that she was young but hardened by many battles. You admired that.

“I was a cadet at the Royal Imperial Academy…” You hesitated, were you really going to do this? Throw your life away and start a new one completely different than your own? You thought about Thrawn and what he did to you. He was the one who caused this, it was his fault. Yes, you already had your doubts about the Empire, but he was the one who solidified them. And he was going to pay for the consequences. 

You lowered your arms, your jaw set, eyes holding a fierce confidence you forgot you possessed. “And I want to join your rebellion.”

Your statement caused the rebel to falter in her stance, her twin blasters wavering slightly before ultimately being set back in their holsters. You breathed a sigh of relief; she believed you, that was good. 

“I would ask why, but we don’t have much time,” She walked over to where you were standing and eyed your outfit, then the locked doors behind you. “You blocked the way back to my ship.”

You shook your head, “We couldn’t go that way, anyway,” Her helmet tilted to the side in confusion and you quickly thought of an excuse that didn’t involve Thrawn. “It’s overrun with troopers.”

The rebel took your excuse, mulled it over before nodding her head. “Okay… then how are we gonna escape?”

You smirked and looked around. “Well, if this is like any star ship I’ve studied, then there will be another hanger that way,” You pointed to the open hallway behind her. “And I’ve done plenty of flight training to be able to fly any of the ships there.” You reached out your hand for her to take, she glanced at it, probably contemplating whether or not to trust you. You sighed, exasperated, and grabbed her hand, dragging her along after you until she got the idea and began sprinting next to you. He hand was cool from the armor, but still welcoming, a nice change to the hands that roamed your body --

You shook those thoughts out of your head and instead focused on getting the hell off of that ship. You continued to run down the many halls, taking a turn here and there until you finally made it to the hangar. You skidded to a stop, the rebel beside you, and your eyes frantically searched for a ship. You spotted a small TIE fighter close to you, it was an older model, probably there for repairs, but it would do. You squeezed the mandalorian’s hand and she squeezed back with as much assurance, and you both rushed down the steps and into the fighter.

You hastily pressed all the buttons you had to around the cockpit, hoping that your training was enough. You lifted the fighter off the ground, albeit a little roughly, but you managed. The rebel leaned over your shoulder and a gasp left her mouth, the modulator startling you a bit. Soon, though, your eyes followed her line of vision and your reaction was just a bit more.

Standing in the command center of the hangar bay, was none other than Grand Admiral Thrawn. His red eyes found yours and if you hadn’t figured out his little nuances, then you probably wouldn’t have noticed it. But you did. You saw it. The slight, almost unnoticeable widening of his glowing eyes. Surprise. You were able to surprise Thrawn. You shot him a quick, hard glare before shooting the ceiling above him, successfully giving you enough cover to fly out of the ship with no complications. 

Your small victory was soon interrupted, however, as a rebel ship began firing at you. The mandalorian beside you quickly pulled out her communicator and yelled into it, telling them not to fire at you. She pointed to a freighter class ship zooming around the fighters with incredible precision. You had no time to admire it, though, as the TIEs must have realized you were the enemy and began firing on you as well. A little farewell gift from Thrawn, no doubt.

“That’s my ship, I’ll call them to let them know that we need to dock, I’m guessing this ship doesn’t have a hyperdrive?”

You shook your head ‘no’, and sharply turned your fighter towards the freighter, maneuvering around the green blaster fire until you managed to dock on the rebel ship and you were off into hyperspace. 

Your shoulders sagged, the adrenaline from before leaving you exhausted. The rebel squeezed your hand and a faint blush made its way to your cheeks at the contact. She pulled your arm, indicating that you should leave the fighter. You complied and followed her out onto the freighter. It wasn’t grand, but the more you looked around the more you began to like it. There were little pictures and drawings on the walls, you noted how the colors matched the mandalorian’s armor and you smiled, she liked to paint. 

She brought you to what seemed to be a common room. There was a small couch that curved around a small table, along with a small compartment and a few other doors. The rebel gestured for you to sit, which you did, but before she left, you grabbed her arm.

“Wait.” She stopped and turned around to face you. “I never got your name, or even your face.” You chuckled nervously, wondering a bit too late if that was offensive, you knew nothing of mandalorian culture.

Thankfully, she didn’t take any offense to it as her hands moved up and released the bolts on the side of her helmet. She slowly pulled it off and your eyes widened in disbelief. Multicolored hair hung loosely on her head, framing her face perfectly. Chocolate brown eyes rested in her slightly caramel-like skin. She was absolutely stunning. 

She shot you a quick smirk, probably noticing your reaction. “The name’s Sabine. Sabine Wren. How about you?”

You gave her your name, although you doubted you were as confident about it as she was. She nodded after you gave her your name as if thinking if it suited you or not. 

“I think I’m gonna call you… Sarad.”

Your brows furrowed at the unknown word, it must have been mando’a. You smiled weakly, hoping it was a compliment and didn’t mean something like “bitch”. Sabine then sauntered away, leaving you alone to your thoughts.

A few minutes pass before Sabine comes back, this time with her whole crew. They were an odd bunch, but if the way they interacted with each other, you could tell that they were like family. You smiled at that. Camaraderie was not what they taught at the Academy, in fact they actually taught you to not make friends as it would only serve to distract you. You hated that. Just like you hated many other aspects of the Empire. It was a miracle you stayed as long as you did. 

The first thing you noticed about this ragtag group, were the two aliens. Yes, you didn’t hold the ideals of the Empire, but that didn’t mean you were used to seeing nonhumans, you hadn’t even seen one until Thrawn. One alien was a twi’lek, she was actually quite beautiful and based on her stance and attire she was more than likely the captain of the ship. The other nonhuman was very large and very… purple. You eyed him a bit longer before you guessed that he was a lasat. Your mouth frowned a little. You had only heard rumors of what happened to the lasat, but even those were enough to make you hate the Empire just a little bit more.

There were two others in the group, both human males. One was much younger, probably a year or so younger than yourself, but if the lightsaber at his hip or the set of his jaw indicated anything, you supposed that he was mature enough to be a part of the crew. The other human was older, most likely the oldest of the group. He also had a lightsaber on his belt which led you to believe that they were jedi master and padawan. Yes, you had done a lot of research into the Jedi, they intrigued you, their sense of justice and peace was all you hoped to be. Although the lightsaber that the older one had wasn’t the main aspect you noticed. He had a strange green mask covering his eyes, and if you hadn’t known better, you wouldn’t have believed he was blind, he walked with confidence and purpose, not something a normal blind man could do, but then again, he wasn’t normal, he had the force.

After your internal evaluation of the crew, the twi’lek spoke up, her voice soft yet strong, “Sabine tells us you saved her life,” She eyes your uniform. “Though, you’ll forgive my rudeness, but I find that hard to believe.”

Sabine shot the captain a quick glare before giving you an apologetic one. You shrugged it off, it made sense that they would be suspicious of you, they were rebels and you were an Imperial. “I understand your lack of trust, I wouldn’t believe me either, but… the Empire wasn’t what I signed up for. And seeing you all fight for what you truly believed in, well,” Your eyes flitted over to Sabine. “That is what I have always wanted.”

The twi’lek sighed and placed a hand on her hip. “I suppose you did help get our friend back safely…”

The adult male intervened. “But I hope you understand also that we would like to ask a few questions.”

You nodded your head. “Absolutely. If you didn’t, I’d be a little scared,” You chuckled and you could have sworn you heard a little laugh escape the mandalorian. “But before we do anything, it would be nice to know your names.”

The man and twi’lek glanced at each other before agreeing. “I’m Hera, captain of the Ghost,” She then gestured to the man beside her, “This is Kanan. Ezra,” The young Jedi. “Zeb,” The lasat, “You already know Sabine. And then there’s Chopper.” A small, old but functional astromech droid came wheeling out in front of you, his small metal arms out and waving wildly. You smiled at each one of the crew and introduced yourself. They seemed nice, much better than the instructors at the Academy.

Kanan motioned for you to follow him, and he led you to a bunk in the back of the ship where he asked you a few questions. They were mainly about what you could give the rebellion, such as knowledge on the Empire’s tactics, and so on. Then they diverged into your past. You explain that your parents were influential members of the Imperial Navy and just before they died, they sent you to learn at the Royal Imperial Academy. Kanan then asked about your reason for leaving. You hesitated at first, trying to think about a way to explain without telling him about Thrawn. As much as you liked the crew of the Ghost, you weren’t sure if you could trust them completely yet. So, you instead told him about how you had always questioned the Empire ever since your parents died. He listened intently and it was hard for you to tell what he was thinking due to the mask that covered his eyes. Eyes were the key to most emotions the brain expresses. You told him that you had been assigned to the ship a few days before they attacked it, and when you saw Sabine outnumbered, you felt the need to help her, and that was how you ended up with them.

Kanan nodded his head, mulling over all the facts he learned about you. “Okay. I believe you,” He stood up and you did the same. He stuck out his hand for you to shake. “Welcome to the rebellion.”

After your informal induction, the crew of the Ghost warmed up to you. Sabine got you some new clothes and you gladly threw away the uniform. Zeb and Ezra were a little cautious of you, but soon they began to see that you were a fun person to be around. Chopper was hilarious as always and you taught yourself how to understand him, a feat Zeb was surprised to see you could master so quickly, you were a fast learner, after all. Hera and Kanan turned into some sort of parental figures, though they were like that for the entire crew. 

They all wanted to bring you to their base, but you insisted that they didn’t. They didn’t entirely understand your reasoning, and Sabine was extremely angry, but Kanan calmed them all down and said that perhaps they could all take turns keeping you company of the Phantom 2 while they were on the planet. Sabine gladly volunteered, and now you were both lounging in the small shuttle, orbiting a distant moon that was nowhere near the rebel base. 

Sabine sat across from you, her brows furrowed in concentration as she worked on a small painting that she refused to show you, saying that it was a surprise. During your couple of weeks with the Phoenix Squad, you and Sabine had grown very close, closer than friends, but neither of you had the courage to bring it up. 

You admired the mandalorian from afar, not knowing if she even noticed the longing glances you gave her. The main reason you refrained from expressing your feelings, was the dark secret you harbored. You knew that if you told her your true feelings, then you would have to tell her what happened to you, and you weren’t sure if you were ready for that. You weren’t sure if you would ever be ready.

You sighed. If you kept your feelings in any longer, you felt as if you would implode. Your love and admiration for the artist was more than you could bear, but the knowledge of what happened to you, was more than enough to keep those emotions at bay. You smiled gently as Sabine turned around and showed you the painting. It was a flower. You would never tell her, but you were curious one day and looked up the nickname Sabine kept on calling you; it meant flower. It was such an endearing term that once you figured it out, your entire body turned bright red, it was all you could do to avoid the mandalorian until your body temperature finally cooled down.

Sabine handed you the picture and you gladly took it, “This is beautiful, Sabine, I’ll keep it close.”

If you hadn’t been looking, you wouldn’t have noticed the slight red that covered her ears and cheeks. She was so lovely, it was hard not to blurt out all the wonderful things you found about her. 

“Thanks, sarad, I’m glad you like it.”

A couple hours later and the Ghost was still at the base. Hera called in to make sure you were okay and said that they would be late, Commander Sato had to speak with them a little longer than they had planned. You and Sabine said it was fine, you would survive. In fact, you enjoyed the time you were spending with the artist. It was rare that you got much quiet time to just relax and enjoy each other’s company. 

It was beginning to crawl into nighttime and Sabine told you to take a quick nap, she would wake you when the Ghost came back. You yawned just as she said that which caused you both to laugh. You agreed to Sabine’s suggestion and laid back in the co-pilot’s chair, slowly drifting off to sleep… 

Red eyes bored into you, their deep color setting off thousands of alarms in your brain. His hot hands were all over you. Probing, pinchin, touching every part of you. His lips too, biting and sucking your sensitive skin, leaving a fresh path of purples and blues in their wake. You shuddered as his fingers deftly worked around your legs, circling, tearing your clothes off of you. You screamed. This wouldn’t happen again. Not again! No! No!

“No, No, NO!”

Your shot out of the chair, onto the floor, your throat hoarse from yelling, tears running down your face. You felt a cool hand grab your shoulders, bringing you to reality and into her arms. You curled into her, the beskar cold and welcoming on your boiling skin. She started to rock you back and forth, a quiet, soft melody falling from her lips, calming you, relaxing you. 

Once your breathing normalized and your tears slowed down, Sabine gripped your face in her hands, though it was gentle, soft, so unlike the monster in your dream. She stared down at you, her warm brown eyes making you feel safe, at home, loved. You smiled up at her, albeit forced and slightly pitiful through the tears drying on your face. Her eyes held such worry, such adoration, you felt as if you would burst.

Without thinking -- or maybe you were thinking -- you slowly closed the gap between you. Your lips collided in an effort to drown out the sadness and malevolence that was reality. You melted into her embrace, your lips moving in sync, her hands still on your face, yours in her short hair. Limbs and bodied entwined, you pulled away and saw the love in her eyes and she saw the same in yours. A schoolgirl smile made its way to your expression, the tears now falling freely, but this time about happiness, not fear. 

Sabine’s own smile soon turned into a frown, however, as she caressed your hair. “Cyar’ika, I’ve been wanting to do that for ages, but you have to tell me what happened.”

Your brows furrowed, your lips drawn taught. “The reason I left the Empire… wasn’t just because I didn’t like it there.” You glanced to the side, not able to look her in the eyes. “You saw Thrawn on the ship when we escaped. You probably thought that it didn’t make sense that he went to that hangar when the Ghost was on the other side of the ship…” Tears began to form in your eyes again. “That’s because… I… he raped me, Sabine. At the Academy. And he brought me to that ship, but I left before he could do anything…” The tears were falling freely, but not just down your face, down Sabine’s as well. “I never told you because, well, I thought you would think less of me. Sabine, I… I have fallen so deeply in love with you over these weeks and I couldn’t bear to lose you just because of something--”

“That you didn’t do.”

Your eyes widened as they turned back to see hers, though yours were filled with shock, guilt, and hers were filled with anger, revenge, not towards you, towards Thrawn.

“You did not ask him to do that to you, sarad, he violated you,” Flames sprung in her eyes, and you told yourself that you would always trust her, with your life, with your heart. “And he will pay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the end. I might add some more, but I feel like if I did, it would be pushing it. I like this idea, however it was supposed to be a one shot and it just blew up lol. I am working on another Thrawn piece, though it's much fluffier. Stick around for some more Adventures with a Chiss! Thank you and stay safe, lovelies!


End file.
